Coach’s Corner – Relationship WellnessFebruary 4, 2019
Did you know that February is “Relationship Wellness Month”?
Relationship with loved ones is likely the most obvious, particularly in February when so many celebrate Valentine’s Day. But how about your relationship with money or with children or with coworkers? What about your relationship with health, happiness and peace? All of these relationships make-up your wellness.
The word relationship covers a lot of territory, so let’s include some synonyms so that we can be very clear: association, connection, rapport and bond. If you are not in a good, productive relationship with someone or something, you may be feeling incompatible, incongruent, estranged or disaffiliated.
Okay, Coach, I’ll bite! Why are you giving me a dictionary of words for relationship – good and bad?
Great question! How you are being in relationship says so much about how you are being with yourself. I would surmise that you intend to be someone who is whole and complete; who is healthy and wise; who is giving and caring. You expect to be at the top of your game (of life) and sometimes, that is a struggle or challenge. Would that be correct? And, what happens – what do you do – when your relationship is not solidly in the wellness category?
Let me share an example with you. Betsy is not feeling ‘well’. Her financial state is pay-check to pay-check living; she belongs to a gym and pays every month, she gets to the gym once or twice a week; she likes her job and the people she works with, but struggles to meet all expectations; she has a loving family, but rarely sees them and when she does it is often a tense time. I would say Betsy is out of good relationship in her world.
Take a moment and bring to mind a relationship in your life that is on shaky ground. Can you relate to any of Betsy’s concerns? Sounds like she has a lot of problems, right? One might become overwhelmed! The good news is this – when Betsy becomes aware of her relationship with herself, she is empowered to mend all the other relationships in her life. Instead of letting things happen to her, she is able to take the steps, to set the boundaries, to go for what she wants and how she wants to live.
Betsy’s relationship with herself was low self-esteem, not good enough, doing what other’s expected rather than what delighted her. Once she quieted the self-limiting chatter in her head and began to visualize who she intended to be and how she wanted to write the story of her life, she began the self-connection. She bonded with the woman she desired to be. Betsy stopped working so hard to be who ‘everyone’ else expected (or so she thought) and began to be truthful with the wonderful Betsy she wanted to be. She created a bond, a relationship with Betsy.
How does this story connect with relationship wellness? It is about recognizing how you are being with you and then, what are you doing to create the ‘you’ of your dreams.
Betsy quit the gym – she used the money and time to find classes she enjoyed – she attends these regularly; she confidently and truthfully met with her boss to get clarity on expectations and redesigned parts of her job – she is exceeding expectations; she confided in a close family member about her feelings and concerns – she has an ally who understands and helps ease the tension. Betsy sees the world in a new and brighter light. She is not in full relationship wellness – I’m not sure any of us ever are fully there; nevertheless, she is well on her way.
Take another look at your relationships with your loved ones, money, children and coworkers. Look at your bond and connection with health, happiness and peace. Is there something you see as incompatible, incongruent or estranged?
How might your relationship with YOU be impacting other areas of your life?
What actions might you take to make February, 2019, YOUR “Relationship Wellness” month?
I would love to support you in answering these questions – connect with me for a complimentary ‘Discovery’ session and let’s create relationship wellness in your life!